Whether it’s due to encounters with his ex, issues concerning his children or heavier-than-average baggage, dating a divorced man can be especially challenging.
There was one little problem, however, and that was that James already had a wife.
Now, before we all get our panties in a bunch, before I get labeled the heinous man-stealer, let me toss out a few more details: James’ wife was on the cusp of no longer being his wife. But to quote Olivia Newton John in her star turn in “Grease,” What I mean to say is that over the course of those 10 hours I couldn’t knock the feeling – despite all those red flags – that James and I might still be a good match. Which brings me to now, two years into our relationship. In this day and age, the briefest jaunt through Facebook reveals significant portions of who this woman is: What she looks like, what parts of herself she likes to advertise.
When you first started dating, he was available at your fingertips, even on Monday morning for a date.
f you’ve just begun dating a divorced man, you may soon realize that the “regular” dating rules don’t always apply.
The truth is dating a divorced man is not a picnic.
It may feel right and your emotions may all be in the right places but in the long run you will be disappointed, hurt and in some extreme cases, you will suffer from severe depression.They’d been together for 10 years, married for two. James and I have our ups and our downs in what could be called “still the honeymoon phase.” And many of them, frankly, have to do with how he used to be married to someone else. There’s some immediate satisfaction of knowing, of course. I’m sorry to say it, but this one’s a real lose/lose. The recently divorced man is, with little exception, the recently traumatized man.They’d met young, in their early 20s, and had decided, two months before James and I met, to divorce. James had been the one to request the divorce; his wife had been devastated by his decision. There’s not a week that goes by that I don’t think either A) I’m thrilled he’s got that experience under his belt, or B) Why god, did I have to fall in love with a guy with an ex-wife? But beyond that, it’s just a device with which to torture yourself. If he dumped her, you think, “What’s to stop him from dumping me? You’re destined to wonder – however briefly – how much of him is still in love with her. And if you’re the one who winds up with him, it will fall upon you to help him cope. A man with a now-defunct marriage under his belt has learned a few things about himself, about what he has to work on, about what he can and cannot handle.Christie Hartman, author of Dating the Divorced Man: Sort Through the Baggage to Decide if He’s Right for You.In which ways is dating a divorced man different than dating a man who has never been married?Divorced men have more baggage than never-married men.