My previous blog ("Should You Date Your Ex-Spouse," dated 1/17/11) made the audacious proposal for considering dating an ex-spouse, since the likelihood of strong positive feelings when getting married could create a positive basis for a renewed relationship, if both parties have matured and stopped blaming each other.
Quite a sorry start, but it’s something you really have to understand.If you’re contemplating over dating an ex, you really have to think of that adage, once bitten twice shy, and consider your options beyond that. In fact, it could actually help both partners understand the real value of the relationship. It doesn’t matter how many months or years have passed since your breakup.In most cases, the intense affection and lost love may cloud your judgment and make you believe you’re ready to fall in love with an ex again. Read should you date an ex to find out if you’re truly ready.Once you’re certain that you’re ready to take a plunge into the same waters again, this is what you need to do. Losing a relationship has its gains Losing your ex to someone else or to circumstances can help both of you really understand how much both of you mean to each other.Examples of this might include different interests, goals and values, incompatible schedules, dishonesty, infidelity, physical or emotional abuse, or just not being ready for the responsibilities of a serious relationship.
Ask yourself what has changed while you've been apart that has affected or resolved these issues to your satisfaction.Dating an ex can turn out to be the best thing in your life, if you’re trying to get back with your ex for all the right reasons.But if you’re making a mistake all over again because you’re feeling lonely, you’d have no option but to go through the same painful frustrations all over again.Doesn't this sound uncomfortably similar to the fighting of marital partners as they are breaking up?Negative Relationship Patterns Negative relationship patterns are the reoccurring interactions that form the basis of ongoing complaints.If you plan to give your ex-boyfriend a second chance and resume dating, it's important that your open mind and forgiving heart are balanced by a healthy respect for your own self-esteem and self-worth.