I’ve heard the endless complaints of how there’s “no one” worth dating; no “cute girls;” that dating apps made for women to find other women “suck.” And while Grindr and Scruff are used for similar purposes in the gay male community, it seems that they have way fewer complaints in that realm.
Instead, there is scrutiny over the racist, fatphobic, and other insults masquerading as “sexual preferences” on their profiles.
This made me curious about the way queer women use apps like Tinder and HER and if we are, in essence, doing the same things in the way that we specify “no butches,” “feminine women only,” “no ghetto chicks” and other statements in order to ward off prospective partners who we don’t see as “our type.” “I have seen apps/sites that allow you to specify ethnicity, race, weight preference, etc.,” says Lauren Hamilton, a frequent dating app user. I don’t want to waste time sending a message to a woman who prefers skinny, white women when I am certainly not that.”I asked the founder of HER, Robyn Exton, how many women specify the kind of appearance they are looking for in their profiles.“It’s a much smaller percentage than you might imagine,” she said.
"There was a side of me that was ecstatic – the teenage boy in me that wants to fuck everything I see," reveals Ryan, a millennial in an open relationship."But the other side of me was concerned about what this means in terms of intimacy and how the dynamics would work." When Leah and Ryan met at a wedding four years ago, they didn’t expect to develop this type of arrangement.I stand there and let him go through the whole ceremony; stopping, looking back, eye contact, another series of crotch grabs — each more suggestive than the last. He finally bends over and starts blowing me, but someone comes in and we have to go. Through the American wing and up to a floor of all offices. He crawls up on the seat and gives me some awesome head until he comes in his pants.It was good, but I needed longer to get 9 a.m.: Blast from the past.In Part One of a two-part series, Rolling Stone goes under the covers in search of new approaches to intimacy, commitment and hooking up.
By the end of their dinner at a small Italian restaurant in New York’s West Village, Leah is getting antsy to part ways with her boyfriend Ryan, so that she can go meet up with her boyfriend Jim.On both Tinder and HER, women are more likely to write that they want “feminine women only,” some going as far to say “no manly women,” echoing the sentiments of the Tweet at the top of this article.“We only have two filters at the moment: age and distance,” Robyn said.“We share a bit more information on a profile including height, sexuality, but you can’t filter by those.Neither of them had had an open relationship before, though it was something that Leah had contemplated.As a serial monogamist who has never used any dating apps or sites, I am consistently intrigued by this world so many of my friends and community inhabit; the viral space where they connect with each other in the hopes of finding a hook-up, a girlfriend, maybe even a wife.He eventually splays himself on the bed and serves up that perfect butt.