Because of his sweet nature, he puts the girl's demands first, altering his weekend plans to fit her schedule.
He may be uneasy about making a decision for fear of being domineering.
I couldn't believe this slightly older, charming, and successful guy was giving me -- an awkward young girl who hadn't quite figured out the right shade of foundation -- the time of day. Big equivalent basically helped me implode into an even bigger self-loathing mess over a couple years; constantly comparing myself to the other women he wouldn't stop chasing. My overall quality of life soared while I dated the good guy. But at the end of the day, a good guy will always be there for you and want what's best for you.It took a long time, but I eventually realized opposite effect. It's impossible to be upfront and honest with someone who's being cryptic and weird. You just get shut down so many times, you start to edit what you're saying. I'm a typical 20-something juggling a gym membership, career networking, hanging out with friends, family, and, OK, I admit it -- a crippling wanderlust and over-the-top addiction to Netflix-and-chilling. I tried to be a better man than the other men in her past. I slowly began to see how my “Nice Guy” behavior was not only not getting me what I wanted in my relationship, it was actually doing great damage. Glover had followed me around for 30 years documenting my life story. In spite of everything I did for her, it never seemed enough. She was frequently moody and would lash out at me, seemingly without provocation. I avoided conflict and withheld any information – including my feelings and wants – that I thought might rock the boat or start a fight. When it became apparent that our relationship wasn’t working well for either of us, I decided (actually, she gave me an ultimatum, “Go to counseling or I’m leaving.”) to join a men’s group and get some counseling.But after all his diligent efforts to be a gentleman, she turns him down, and he is left to wonder: Do nice guys finish last?
"Girls might say they want a nice guy, but what they really want is the cool guy," said Arthur Malov, founder of New York Dating Coach, a relationship consulting agency with primarily male clients. Like most men, I learned rather quickly that being that nice guy wasn't the best of decisions. Then all of a sudden logic swarms back into reality and bad, once again, means bad.You see, I never saw being nice as a decision that needed to be made – I understood it as a state that naturally existed. Understanding why women go for those bad boys isn't difficult to understand.Being respected and listened to helped me become a bigger person. Men with manners, compassion, and sweetness are gems. Seriously, I swipe left on at least 50 photos a day of cocky men posing with guitars, next to waterfalls, and looking pensive on boats.Thanks to Tinder, women are more aware than ever how many bad matches are out there. I was passive aggressive – expressing my pent up feelings and resentments in “humor,” put downs, sarcasm, and backhanded jabs.